Genuinely Needed

At about 10:00 this morning Aral melted down. It was a more or less standard mental breakdown for him. He started by getting angry, then he threw a toy, cried like the world was ending, and avoided any and all help offered. He was tired because he woke up too early and had been playing hard all morning.

Eventually, I was able to pick him up and console him. I positioned his moist little head on my shoulder and walked around the house rocking him back and forth, patting him on the back, and trying to get another load of laundry in the tub.

Soon enough the crying stopped and there was a short period of sobbing. But he made no move to get down. So I continued to rock him and rub his back. He was becoming limp in my arms. Falling asleep.

Maybe 30 minutes into this affair I decided I needed to sit down. He wasn’t out yet, but he didn’t fuss when I backed into the chair.

Eventually he fell asleep, but I continued to pat him and rock the chair. I noticed that it felt really nice. Even the tears and snot on my shoulder felt nice. I thought a long time about why and eventually came to this conclusion. I like to be needed.

Aral doesn’t always need me, in fact, sometimes he doesn’t even want me around. But today I got the opportunity to be there for him and that was especially good for me.

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