An Apology

Bedzilla

This is an apology to anyone who has been unfortunate enough to sleep in our guest bed recently. Today I resolved the problem your collective silence is screaming. And its genesis is a clear reminder about how Democratic ideals may not be the most efficient or effective means of achieving an end.

Here’s the skinny. Aral picked up a head cold last week, probably from the girl at the Rec Center who watches him for about an hour and a half some mornings. I knew it was just a matter of time before I too, came down with the head cold. Mean gestation time for this virus is about four days, you will know if you’ve got it when the back of your throat starts to feel like a south western flash flood of boogers.

In an effort to keep Tess from coming down with this virus I’ve been camping out in the guest bedroom. And ahmahgawd that bed has been uncomfortable. I’ve been lucky to get a couple of hours a night between the steel beam in my back and an inability to breath. Today, while Aral was napping, I decided to see if there was anything I could do.

About mid-June I was scrambling to get my older son Justin and I ready for our bike tour. In addition to this Tess and I wanted to get the futon mattress we had as guest bed off the floor. Add to all of that, my mother-in-law’s impending visit. Needless to say I was a busy home maker/bicycle tourist. Justin’s bike needed a great deal of attention before we could go and there was just a lot of overhead in general.

I dropped the “get-the-bed-off-the-floor” ball in the cloud I was juggling. Tess ended up making a trip down to Ikea for a frame. It was then constructed over a period of days by a collection of people, none of whom seem to have read the instructions the same way. In short, that bed was the single best example of Ikea assembly incompetence I have ever had the displeasure of using.

The problem has been rectified. Today I took the whole thing apart and put it together again, using my executive authority derived from the momentary break nap-time offered I reconstructed the damn thing in a manner which will no longer cause pain or sleeplessness. To those of you who slept on it prior to its renovation you are too polite. Seriously, that thing could have been shipped to Guantanamo to replace water boarding.

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