This Test

I realized today while walking on the treadmill, with my speech therapist giving me direction, what this stage of my life is about. I’ve spent most of my adult life figuring out ways to test my endurance.

That’s a head game more than anything. When your body needs fuel it’s obvious and you can just add some. Once that part is down to a practice and you’ve tamed your stomach, you’re quickly less limited by what your body can do and more by what your mind and spirit will allow you to do.

Some people suggest owning the pain or wrestling it. I simply cuddle up next to it. I get comfortable with that cramp and those shaking quads and just keep churning. The challenge is ALWAYS in my head, because I know I don’t have to be there. I don’t have to be comfortable with all that discomfort.

I treat it like I’m shifting gears or that’s what it feels like I side my head. Oh you were in “N” for “normal living mode” better shift to “D” for “Damn you flying baby!”

Flip the leaver and move on.

Right now this speech thing, it ain’t no leaver operated thang.

My test, right now, isn’t one of endurance. My test today is one of patience. Patience to work out these pathways. To take time and keep trying even when I fall down over and over. Even when I’m bloody and crying. Be patient because something broke in my brain and that’s going to take time to heal.

Heal it will. Be patient.

2 thoughts on “This Test

  1. You got this Matt! We’ve been thinking of you and hope to get up your way in the near future.
    We are starting the semi -retirement phase and will be Grandparents in late summer so hopefully we will see you soon!

    1. I’ve been contemplating coming out your way. I’ve still got friends up and down the Gunni River Valley and I’ve been thinking about doing a loop over the Flat Tops as soon as this summer. Never mind all those summits. I’m super excited for you and Chrissy, sounds like you’re excited too. I love to see your pictures and I’m looking forward to seeing way more from BV and commons.

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