Endurance

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Digging it all out

It’s been a while since I put time into either this blog or writing anything at all. There are a variety of reasons, but the elephant in that crowd is that last year I started a new business. Yep, I’m self employed. I’ve been working as a “tree guy” which is the humble brag for uncertified arborist.

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Added to that rather sizable deduction from my time/energy wallet was the personally catastrophic collection of rejection I endured prior to changing gears. I know, I know, “everyone goes through it.” Still doesn’t change the fact that rejection doesn’t pay the bills and after a while it takes a personal toll that erodes one’s sense of self worth. I’m here to tell you that if you’re examining yourself through those lenses it’s a good chance you need to see an optometrist for a new prescription.

Today I went for my first run of the season. A three-ish mile jaunt into the park between scheduled events. I started feeling pretty low energy, but that changed as soon as the ol’ heart rate got moving and now that I’m done and stretched I’m feeling more me than I have in a good long time.

And that’s really what this is all about — feeling like myself. Feeling like I’m worth something to myself. So, now my challenge is to make it through the spring juggling the time/energy requirements of my work and the time/energy requirements of my family and the time/energy requirements of living up to my own expectations. And I can do that if I stay on top of all that budgeting and ensure priorities are adjusted as necessary.

I’m going to start keeping track of that rat’s nest of requirements here again, so earmark some writing and serious self examination into that personal economy. Get ready folks, we’re going for a run.

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Going Keto, Going Long

Okay, so really slow start today. Woke up, made coffee, got breakfast into the boy and then took him to Minglemint for the second cup. At this point, I’d only eaten about a quarter of a banana he’d refused to eat.

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Ran some errands after drop off, sipping coffee the whole time. Made that second cup last a long while. Came home and cleaned downstairs until about 11:30. Then geared up and hit the trail. My vivosmart HR+ would not sync with the satellites so I put on the old forerunner 910xt (without heart rate monitor) and took off.

Went down to the beach twice, which gave me some elevation today. Dog was mostly cool the whole way, save a minor incident with a labradoodle on the way up from the beach the first time. Right knee has a minor twinge on the inside and below the patella. Lower, right side back is a little sore. Right shoulder behind scapula is a little sore.

Save that bite of banana this morning I haven’t eaten since yesterday at about 1730. Sweaty, stinky and burning off that belly.

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So Much Easier

Last night it was a small helping of rice. Today, I’ve already passed up fruits and I’m going to pass on Tuesday afternoon gluten-free pizza Aral and I traditionally eat. I’m well on my way to ketosis. And the surprising thing is that this brush with it doesn’t seem all that difficult. I’m not craving much … of anything. And that’s great!

Swelling my hands and feet has been eliminated. My back, while a bit stiff from ripping up grass in the yard in preparation for the garden, isn’t hurting. I don’t even feel a twinge in my right knee after rolling an ankle and banging it good on yesterday’s run.

Tonight, I’ve got to take the boy to his piano lesson. I think I’m feeling up for a light run as the sun sets, and man does that feel good. I’m going to light up the night.

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Crawling into Bed

Ugh! Today was my first time in a long while doing sprints. Just two, all out up a hill, and apparently my heart rate monitor doesn’t read as well when my body is pouring perspiration all over it, but there it is. I’ve been cleaning since I got back and right now I’m also dragging an amazing amount of ass. OMG get the Led out, cause this is epic fatigue.

Okay, yeah I know why I’m doing this. Desensitization to pain, improved aerobic ceiling, and hormonal and metabolic response to name but a few reasons. But it’s difficult to remember that, anything actually, when you’re a couple deep breaths away from an involuntary nap.

Tonight, my friends, I shall crawl into bed with the all the dignity due to an extremely tired person.

Leave a comment Posted on Endurance, Long Distance Hiking, Racing, Trail Running, Training, UltraHike, Uncategorized

#OldManRunning

If you follow my Instagram, Strava, or Twitter feed you’ve seen that I’ve been getting out again. The change came after a conversation with my cousin Chad who basically pointed out to me that I’ve been lazy curr for a good long while now. He’s totally correct, I have let myself go. And yeah, sure I’ve got a long list of excuses, but I know that’s just what they are. I’m not doing what I need to in order to provide for my own health, sanity, and happiness.

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Elements of a Whole Matt

I’ve always been a runner and a hiker, just never very fast. I’m also well beyond the time in my life where I might find success racing. Since 2012 I’ve struggled to stay active and to find the motivation to get out onto the trails and this has, in turn, created complications for me. Weight (~190 lbs [87 kg]), body image, energy levels, flexibility, and mood: all these things use to be pretty good for me, right now not so much. I’m about 25 lbs overweight (~190 lbs [87 kg]), don’t particularly like to acknowledge my self in the mirror, often feel sluggish, sore and stiff, and lose motivation to do even necessary things from time to time.

Back when none of that was a worry, I was a happy-go-lucky dude that just smiled as he went through life. I was effective, capable and ready for anything. My favorite year, in fact, was 2009 when I spent stupid amounts of time on the trail. Stupid and necessary amounts of time.

Matt, it seems, is best when he’s dusty with trail dirt.

The Goals

Okay, it’s a short list, but that’s because I’m trying to keep it simple. Unquestionably, it’s easier to reach for simple.

  • Lose about 25 lbs
  • Be able to run long distance again
  • Improve my body’s autoimmune response
  • Sleep like a rockstar
  • Travel for some running and hiking
  • Serve my wife, family and friends more effectively

We’ve been over the reasons why more times than I’d like to recount (because each time I stop running I’ve eventually got to go back to my core motivation and reexamine what the hell I’m up to). I can easily track inputs and outputs around some of this, others are less tangible. For instance, I can keep records of what I eat, how long I sleep, how much I weigh, and how much I’m exercising, but I can only track if and when I’m getting sick, not how many sicknesses I’ve been exposed to and successfully fought off. But the bottom line for all of this is an improvement in my quality of life.

Also, notice, nowhere in there does it say race. I write this as a reminder to myself, “Hey dumbass, you’re no longer racing.”

Why No Racing?

“I’m too old,” is actually a craptastic answer. There a plenty of older men and women who line up below the inflatable arch every weekend. I think a lot of this decision comes down to two elements.

Valuetanium: a heavy metal found only in the human soul which gains weight in response to the thoughts and time we put next it. Basically, for the energy and time I have to run and trek, I need to invest it in the experience and moments that time on the trail can generate. Running is a meditation, an exercise in mindfulness, and running for a race tends to devalue that experience.

Robustonium: an element found in the bone that determines a person’s grit and longevity in response to a hostile world. As my recent visits to the ER have reminded me, my time in this life is limited. My experience tells me that training to race means I’m burning my robustonium not gathering more to me. This has got to be a lifestyle change that makes me stronger.

A Call for Help

Add to the above that my best friend just asked me for some help. He’s got some of his own challenges and goals, but there’s plenty of synchronicity. So yeah, I want to be there for him as much as making these changes for myself. It’s just a kind of kismet that we’re looking to make similar improvements at about the same time.

The Plan

I’m already back on the Primal Endurance program. My diet is pretty much grain-free already, but I’ll have to work at eliminating brown rice from the mix. Add to this that I’ve been running at a low-intensity rate on a five to six-day routine while using work in my garden to add explosive core strength “workouts” into the mix. All of this is governed by my heart rate as I pursue efficient Aerobic base building over an eight week period. My Garmin VivoSmart HR+ sits on my wrist and vibrates whenever I’m overdoing it, and I’m responding and slowing down when it does. Sleep remains a challenge, but I’ve made some profound changes in my sleep hygiene habits and with the exertion of exercise I’ve actually been doing pretty well.

I’m encouraging my friend to take similar steps in this direction too. Just knowing that there’s someone else out there suffering through the first month of metabolic fat-adaptation or sweating up a hill seems to help me mentally.

Finally, I just ordered some more parts for my van. A pair of *new* transmission mounts, the old ones are all cracked and need to be replaced before I kill the transmission. That travel bullet needs some attention too. Yes, there are a lot of things that I need to take care of on my van and I’m going to address these systematically so that as my abilities return to me I can reach the high country trails.

 

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Weight

I’m sitting at my desk right now covered in a glossy glaze of my own perspiration. It’s been quite a long time since I’ve felt this way. Hungry, bordering on ravenous. Tired, a fatigue has set into my legs and arms. My chest still feels the burn of a prolonged struggle for air. And happy, a curious sensation that manages to exceed mere contentment. I just went for a “run.”

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My activity feed on Strava shows me that the last time I went and did this, with purpose, was early July of last year. In the intervening near-year, I’ve been seen at the ER a handful of times. Made near constant pilgrimage to a variety of doctors, including neurological specialists. Had my head scanned. My abdomen probed. My fat ass weighed. And from this, I’ve received a singular meaningful diagnosis. One that I could have probably figured out on my own had I just hit the trail.

“You don’t work well,” is a pretty good if somewhat broad summary of FND. Context being the missing component of that review. I don’t believe that I’m a particularly misanthropic person. In fact, I like most of you and even love a few of you. That said, when I’m around you all for too long there is this sensation of weight that sort of builds up on the back of my neck. I can’t shake it. Eventually, you’ll see me at the coffee shop and wanting to hang out with that nice guy you met once you’ll great me. I’ll trip all over myself, saturated in self-consciousness that makes my throat tighten and turns my words into an aphasic mess. Often, it feels like it gets worse as we chat. Eventually, I’ll slink off to my castle on this island where I can be alone.

Last night I got a call from my Cousin Chad who suggested that I just go for a walk. Chad, I did. And while I’m not cured I can feel some small fraction of the weight I’ve taken on lifting.

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Last Sunny Days for a While

Aral and Nathan make it to the border of Wilderness

Last Friday, because there wasn’t any school, I loaded up Aral and his good friend Nathan and meandered my way up into the Cascades. The goal was to get the boys and me out on a trail to enjoy some of the last dregs of sunshine before its gone. We ended up climbing up to the Alpine Lakes Wilderness border via the Pacific Crest Trail northbound from Snoqualmie Pass.

To be sure, this section of trail is a favorite of mine, so it’s no wonder when given an opportunity I gravitate toward it. In particular, I love the ascent up to the Kendall Katwalk because it traverses a narrow face of the mountain and goes through all the different biological regions. I should add that once you’re high enough you get out of the noise pollution of the I-90 corridor. Back in the day, I never had any trouble climbing up and out of civilization. It’s an escape route.

Friday both boys drug their feet from time to time. I’d mistakenly let them pack whatever they wanted along on the trail and so in addition to all the spare clothing and water they had in their bags they were both toating a hefty load of toys. They did this even after I warned them that the extra weight would bother them while we hiked.

Oh well. C’est la vie, non? I was able to coax them both along until we reached the Alpine Lakes Wilderness border sign. I ceremonially stepped into the wilderness and let the sunshine beat down on me for a moment. Ah, momentarily cleaner somehow. Then we traveled back down to the van in good spirits with a healthy load of vitamin-D coursing through our veins.

As I get my van together I’ll also work on building out my go-bag and kit so these trips will become much easier. For the first time, in a long time, I’m excited to get off-island and up into thin air.