An Apology to the Class of 1991

Holy Cow! It’s been 30 years!

Yes, I see it written all over my face too. Every time I look in the mirror in fact. Also, why I don’t look in the mirror so much any more.

At the end of this month some of you have a shindig planed back in our hometown. I’m not going to make it. This is an apology.

Yes, I, surprisingly enjoyed my time at our 20 year reunion. It was nothing like I anticipated it might be and funnily it helped me close a lot of open crap up that needed closing from our mutual high school shenanigans. Kids can be toxic assholes and I’m so glad we all (or at least most of us) grew up.

But I’ve had to face some pretty stark realities lately. Let me enumerate a few.

First, I am now allergic to most of the things that you all enjoy eating and drinking. Wheat and booze being near the top of this list. They either don’t mix with me or don’t mix with my meds. A good night out on the town can be, at best, miserable for me for days. And, frankly, I don’t want to be that guy that gets made fun of for asking the wait staff “does this have wheat in it?” while I munch on another iceberg salad. It’s no fun for me, and I imagine a bit of a buzz kill for you.

Two, I can’t talk with you. Yeah, literally can’t have a conversation with anyone. I’m the literal embodiment of a wall flower. I suppose this is karma bitch slapping me for dominating any conversation as a kid, huh? Welp, I’ve done been smacked down. Karma fired up its steam roller and is now storing up credits for my next life in which I will come back as a chatty Kathy or something.

And three, I’m trying to build a new gig for myself while supporting my family and healing and that’s a lot of balls to keep in the air. Yeah, yeah, no one ever said life was going to be easy. I know that. It ain’t never been. Just sometimes it’s a whole lot harder than usual. And while I love to celebrate my happy moments like Monday’s hike, the truth is that most moments are dishes, laundry, brain scans, and therapy. Taking a week off to drive out to Colorado just isn’t in the cards right now.

I sincerely hope that all of you are well and healthy. I imagine that more than a few of you have kids that are getting married sooner or later. Maybe even grand kids on the way? Who knows? Good grief it goes fast. Maybe 40, who knows?

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